Unconditional Love and Acceptance for humanity

I came across this little phrase today “a parent may tell a child, ‘I don’t like what you are doing, but I still love you.’” It really struck a chord in me and led me to realize how much unconditional love and acceptance is such rarity in this world, like polished graphite. More often than not, we tend to judge people based on their behaviors and tend to condemn them, as a person, rather than to condemn their actions. I too, am guilty of this– condemning a person for who he/she is rather than to condemn the wrong action. I guess it is all part of human nature. However, the challenge is to step up and challenge this notion of simply “human nature” because, if we condemn people based on their actions, we are simply promoting judgments and not love or acceptance. 

I am certain that I speak on behalf of everybody when I say that all of us yearn to be loved and accepted despite our flaws, imperfections, the wrong words that fall out of our mouths when we speak unwittingly, mistakes and actions. After all, which human being does not crave for love and acceptance? To be loved is the greatest joy one can ever experience. 

Yet, we commit the same mistake of condemning others for their wrongdoings instead of condemning their wrongdoings itself. 

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Thanking God through it all

Thanking God through it all

For the past 2 months or so, I would say that I have been underperforming and not been doing as well as expected (or as well as I should). I really wish I could say that I have given my best for everything, but perhaps, I would be lying to myself. Reflecting back, I think I could have done better, although I do not know how.

Reflecting on how I have been handling everything, I do think that I really need to have a better grasp of time, rather than letting time control me. I need to be more focused on one particular task I have at hand and not be so distracted. This is really difficult for me, as I have problems trying to stay focused on completing one thing and also, I tend to procrastinate. A lot. Sometimes, it really baffles me when people view me as someone who excels at everything and “hardworking”. My definition of hardworking would be many others, but me.

I procrastinate a lot and get very stressed out thinking of all deadlines I have to meet, standards I have to attain and live up to. I get really overwhelmed easily due to the insurmountable amount of work I need to complete, yet do not have sufficient time, energy and competency.

I am just wondering HOW I can overcome this problem of procrastination, have better time management and sweep away all my distractions. I guess I really need to be determined to succeed and also, just try my very best to stay focused at one particular task at hand, tackling things one by one. That’s the only way for now.

Most of all, I really need to stay strong in my faith and not let my faith waiver, despite having a very weak foundation made out of sedimentary rock that could crumble at any moment.

Although I have been underperforming, I still give thanks to God for whatever I have been blessed with because every little gift comes from above.

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Right brained/ Left brained Fun facts

Right brained/ Left brained Fun facts

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Atlas; Our Responsibility, Our Duty

The younger generations have the power to change the future. Our voices are just like echoes. Small, when unheard, but loud and can travel long distances. If we don’t take responsibility for issues happening across the globe today, who else will? It is our earth, our responsibility, and most of all, our duty.

“Every right implies a responsibility; Every opportunity, an obligation, every possession, a duty.” — John D. Rockefeller, Jr.

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Keep Calm and GEOG ON!

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All I can say is that what C told me was right. We really need to love Geography in order to be doing what we are doing now – eat, sleep, play geog. But right now, I just feel like pulling my hair out from the deadline of one of my assignments due on Monday and its 1.31am right now (the beginning of Sunday *yawns*). 

Hmm well, what did I say? No work-life balance. 

Please pardon my incoherency. 

I am more or less done with my assignment and I shall suppress my perfectionist tendencies by trusting God and letting Him take over what I have done. I have tried my best and need to learn to tell myself that I have done enough! :-) 

So yeah, keep calm and geog on! :P 

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Surrendering to God

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Honestly, I just really want so badly to go to church this Sunday, despite knowing that I can’t. I just feel so conflicted and sometimes, even words, the pen being the mightiest of all, can’t seem to express what I feel appropriately and accurately. 

Have been really teary recently and sometimes I would just cry even when my good friend is sitting right beside me. This makes them really baffled and puts them at a loss for what to do. I wish I could tell you guys what is going on and how I feel, but my words never come out right. 

“You’re my all, you’re the best, you’re my joy, my righteousness.” This line is just unmeasurably true beyond words. 

I am just so afraid to fail this year. Although this may sound like a Slippery Slope argument admittedly, if I fail this year, I just can’t see how things can get better and it feels as if everything would be over. I am not coping and neither do I know how to cope. I look at the people around me, each of them are so much more competent than I am. I can’t help but feel inferior and wonder exasperatedly why can’t I just match up to their standards. 

However, I think that the Lord has drawn my attention to one person in my life. Although I am not very close to X, God seems to be speaking to me through her. Although X has a lot of commitments, commitments even heavier than I do, she is excelling in all aspects of her life and doing much better than I am. X is a religious person and I believe she nurtures her relationship with God very much. I think that perhaps in the midst of all these struggles that I go through, I really need to just place my focus and eyes on God. It is okay to tell God that I can’t do this, because I am only human. And as a human, like a river basin, my capacity is not much. I have limits, that are perhaps lower than other people. My skills and competence cannot match with many other people around me, but that’s okay. God loves me for who I am and in all I do, I have decided I will surrender to Him and honour Him. 

I just really need to trust God and place my faith in Him. I think that ultimately, my destination doesn’t end at the end of this year even if I don’t perform as well as I need to. Life goes on and God will be with me. That’s the message I need to remember. 

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Self-love

Self-love; what does it really mean? If we take a closer look, it really means loving yourself. What? Loving me? Loving the unlovable, terrible, horrible, atrocious, unforgivable and the less than impeccable me? 

Yes. Self-love means loving yourself, loving me. It means accepting yourself, becoming your own best friend and saying with conviction that you deserve your own love. 

The shaking of head, disapproval, shudders down the spine all went to indicate how much I abhorred the idea of loving me. 

But upon further reflection, I realize that perhaps — perhaps I have been too hard on myself all this while. I have not been performing up to standard recently, and I have been feeling rather blue and upset about it because I just keep obsessing on how I could have done better. However, obsessing on what has already happened is not going to make me move forward in life, it could in fact (based on experience) hinder me from moving on with life. Life goes on and does not revolve around the point when I failed. There are going to be so many more challenges, and tests in life awaiting me. Am I going to let a few setbacks define the outcome at the end of the year?

Hell no. 

So this is what I am going to do/ have done: 

1) Write a letter of love and encouragement to myself (Done, below!) 

2) Write out my goal setting for this year (DONE)

3) Write out an action plan to make sure that I achieve and do not fall short of those goals I have set for myself. (DONE)

4) Learn to love myself (as hard as it may seem, I am going to try)

5) Be less hard on myself WITHOUT compromising the goals I have set for myself. 

Dear S,

  You are an amazing person with a big heart for the world. I really admire you for having compassion for others who may be less fortunate than you and also your ability to empathize with others and care for them. Although you have some shortcomings, like your bad temper, pessimism, being snappy and irritable when things don’t go as you wish, these are aspects in your life that you CAN improve on because remember that nobody is perfect. Don’t be fooled by others, media or seemingly perfect people, because nobody is perfect and everyone has their shortcomings. You are also a very genuine, sincere and altruistic person, which is something that may allow you to be made use of but this is something I like about you. You are genuine and do not do things for superficial reasons or selfish benefits. 

  Remember that you are a special person even though society may tell you otherwise. I know the environment that you are placed in is very stressful and you cry a lot because of the intense pressure and when you don’t meet the high expectations you have of yourself, but that is okay. I can understand why you do so. Don’t feel guilty for crying. It is okay to cry. 

  I also wanted to let you know that I am very proud of you for not cutting yourself anymore. Guess what? You are now 1 month and 1 week “clean”. You deserve love because no matter how unlovable you think you are, no matter how how unforgivable the mistakes you think you have made, you deserve love. I am glad that you have found better coping mechanisms to deal with the emotional stress and pain you undergo and I applaud you for being a stronger person! Don’t be ashamed of the scars that you have left behind. They are the past and it is okay. They will soon go away (hopefully). If they don’t go away soon enough, try to accept them alright? 

  I know you are now going through a very stressful period and may be self-pitying at times. Although that is not a very desirable trait, I can understand and empathize with you for why you do that. Just try your best and remember to trust God. You need to always keep in mind that God will give you strength even when you feel like you have none. :) 

  Remember not to be too hard on yourself. Although you have not been performing up to your own expectations, keep in mind that you are still salvageable. It isn’t the end yet. Ask for help when you need it. You need to be strong, be determined and work hard for what you want. You are clear of your goals, so work towards that! Through it all, trust God and have faith. Praise God for everything you have been blessed with, even if you are not satisfied with it because every little gift is a gift from above. 

   Lastly, just remember that you are not a bad or terrible person. You are a good person, believe me! Just work hard, be strong and everything will be okay! :) 

Love,

S

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